Parents are moved by instinct to love, nurture, and provide for their offspring. Because our children are so much a part of us, we want to see them blissfully happy. Also, our own desire to be liked, materialist pressures, and a fervent wish that our children should have everything we lacked as youngsters can prompt us to spoil them. However, while it might seem that buying your child expensive gifts will give them fond memories of childhood or that you can heal your emotional wounds by doting on your sons and daughters, you may be unconsciously interfering with your children’s development. One of the most precious gifts you can grant your children is the true independence they gain when they learn to earn what they most want and become stewards of their own happiness. Try allowing your children to experience life to the fullest. When the time comes for them to live on their own, you will have the confidence that you raised a child that can both enter and contribute to society.

When children are not afforded the opportunity to explore self-reliance, they may develop a sense of entitlement that blinds them to hard work and the needs of others. We may indulge children because giving them gifts is pleasurable. Or we may want to avoid conflict out of fear that our children won’t love us. Yet children who are given acceptance, love, and affection in abundance are often kinder, more charitable, and more responsible than those who received their every material demand. They develop a strong sense of self that stretches beyond possessions and the approval of their peers, and as adults, they understand that each individual is responsible for building the life they desire. If you find yourself giving in to your child’s every whim, ask yourself why. You may discover that the answer is connected more to your own needs.

Rearing your children to respect the value of money and self-sufficiency as they grow from infants to young adults is a challenging but rewarding process. It can be difficult to watch a child struggle to meet a personal goal, yet it is wonderful to be by their side as they achieve it. By showing them understanding and compassion and being fully present with them, you support their journey toward adulthood.